


The Legend of the Bugged Paladin

by tuuli



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: (read the fic too though), Humor, If You Haven’t Seen It Do Yourself A Favor And Watch It Now!, KoroQ, Korosensei Quest, here be dragons, washtubs, way too many washtubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuuli/pseuds/tuuli
Summary: When the Ice Paladin Asano Gakushuu heads back to the mountain to expose the mysterious teacher of 3E, things take a turn he could never have foreseen. He has completed many a dangerous quest despite his young age, but does he have what it takes to clear this one? Or will these accursed washtubs drive him crazy first...This fic takes place in the universe of the spin-off series,Korosensei Quest. If you haven’t seen it, you can treat this as AU. (I strongly recommend watching it, though, it’s hilarious! You can find it on youtube, both dub and sub, and it’s (unfortunately) only a couple of hours long.)(As usual, I suck with titles. This will have to do. ^^)
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
>    
> 

One day after the disaster with the Orb of Light, the Ice Paladin Asano Gakushuu was heading back to the E class building up in the mountain. This time he was on the move alone, having said nothing about his plans to his min… _friends_. He hadn’t even taken his horse, for, wonderful though the animal was, it was hardly inconspicuous, and he had decided that his mission demanded stealth. Now, stealth wasn’t really something he associated with being a paladin, but he had already once galloped to the classroom (okay, so, right into it) on his noble steed, and…yeah. Everyone knew just how well that had turned out. So, it was time to try something different.

He arrived at the place a little before the school day would end. First he considered trying to simply take a peek through the window, but that was a little too risky. There were thick bushes quite close to the front door; an ideal spot for keeping an eye on the yard, and so he crouched down among them to wait. This day he would dedicate simply for observation. Soon the bell would chime the end of the day, the mysterious teacher of the E class would leave, and his suspicions would be confirmed when he would see the creature in its true form.

He would find out the truth, confront his father with it, and get payback for the humiliation with the Orb. Now, this would be something his father wouldn’t be able to explain away easily. How could the Pope, the esteemed leader of Kunugigaoka School of Magic, hire a _Big Bad_ as a teacher? Even if it was for the misfits of the E class, the idea was still absolutely abhorrent.

Finally the bell rang. He waited, eyes glued to the door, but it was a window that opened, and… before he had time to understand what was going on, something dashed out. A moment he stared at the open window, completely frozen. What had that _been_? The Big Bad? He knew those things were fast, but _this_ fast? He hadn’t even had time to see anything.

This complicated things. Should he still wait? Perhaps that had been something else, a result of the buggy abilities of the misfits? And in any case, if he left now, he would have come in vain all the way up here – on _foot_ , too! No, he had to make sure that…

“Well, well, well, look at this,” a voice said behind his back, tone soft and so condescending he felt his hackles rise. “If it isn’t the ice prince of Kunugigaoka. To what do we owe this honor?”

He closed his eyes (ignoring the strange thumping noise he heard behind his back) and drew in a deep breath. Of course. Of course it had to be just that bastard who spotted him. He straightened slowly and turned to face the red-haired menace behind him.

“I am happy you recognize that you _are_ being honored by my presence,” he said calmly, noting with slight confusion the round, metal washtub at the other boy’s feet, “but I do not explain my actions to the likes of you. Although…” He paused to consider for a short moment. Perhaps this would work out, after all. “I am here to meet your teacher.”

“Oh? And did you expect to find him in the bush?”

“Karma? What’s going on?” another voice asked before he could answer the smirking pest in front of him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw other kids of the E class coming out, led by a blue-haired boy who had apparently asked the question.

“Oh, we have a visitor!” Karma called to the boy with a laugh. “Too bad he didn’t tell us beforehand, we’d have rolled out a red carpet. By the way,” he tilted his head, “where’s your horse? You didn’t leave the poor thing behind, did you? Imagine how heart-broken he’s got to be, when you sneak out like this to meet other…” His eyes widened, and an even wider grin spread slowly on his face (completely unaffected by the washtub that fell on his head. Gakushuu blinked at it, though.) “Oh! Is _that_ what this is about? You’re here for a secret tryst? You mean you really _are_ cheating on your horse like this?”

“Shut your mouth,” Gakushuu spat out through clenched teeth. “How dare you insinuate something like that?” The mere idea that he would be associating with someone from the E class made his stomach turn. “As I said, I’m here to meet y…”

“Say,” Karma said, watching him with tilted head, “you really are more upset about the idea of a tryst than about being in love with your horse?”

“I. Am here. To meet your _teacher_ ,” Gakushuu said, using every ounce of his self-control to keep himself calm. _I will_ not _allow this ruffian the pleasure of making me lose my patience._

“Oh,” the blue-haired boy said. “I’m afraid you’re late for that. He already left.”

Gakushuu swore soundlessly. The red-haired devil had stolen his attention, and he couldn’t say for sure that the teacher hadn’t just walked out behind his back. “Well. I should be able to catch up with him…”

Karma snickered. “I sincerely doubt that.” A washtub fell on his head. Gakushuu was beginning to get quite curious about that, but what Karma had said was more important.

“So it _was_ him that flew out of the window!” he exclaimed victoriously. The way the redhead narrowed his eyes made him sure that he was correct.

“Flew out of the window?” Karma said, tone incredulous. “Are you seeing things? Maybe you’ve been crouching too long in the sun, waiting for your imaginary girlfriend. Or is it a boyfriend?”

Gakushuu’s look shot daggers at him. (Very nearly literally, as he was only _that_ far from actually conjuring up some nice, sharp ice daggers against the boy.) “I wouldn’t be caught _dead_ courting anyone among you losers, girl _or_ boy.”

“Oh yes, of course, I forgot!” Karma snapped his fingers. “You prefer horses.”

“What I would _prefer_ ,” Gakushuu growled, taking a step toward the redhead, eyes nailed to his, “is for you to learn how to speak _respectfully_ to your betters. Or do I need to teach you a lesson?”

“I bet you know all about _that_ ,” Karma snarled back, taking as well a step closer. “How much groveling did take after you came back to your dad with the broken orb?”

“You have quite an attitude for someone who used to live in a cave.” Step.

“Oh, but it’s such a charming cave.” Step. “You should visit it sometime – if you’re brave enough.” (A falling washtub.)

(“Umm, guys?” the blue-haired boy said. “Please, calm down.”)

“I could have done that long ago, I’ve just been too busy fighting _real_ monsters to bother with wannabe ones.” Step.

“If it’s a fight you want, you can have one here. Though believe me, you need something more than that wacky ice sword of yours.” Step – and a falling washtub.

(“Guys!” the blue-haired boy said.)

“I have a lot more where that came from,” Gakushuu said softly. He would have taken a step forward, but he would have been stepping on Karma’s toes then. Instead, he focused a bit of his power to his feet, and the grass around him froze.

“Guys!” the blue-haired boy shouted, rushing to push them apart. “Stop this!”

The moment he laid his hand on the two adversaries’ shoulders, something _twisted_ , as if for the shortest moment reality had lost its footing. The moment went by in half a heartbeat, and they all stood in silence, holding their breath, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing happened.

“Nagisa, what did you do?” Karma asked, his tone cautious.

“I… I’m not sure,” the blue-haired boy admitted. “It… could have been anything,” he explained to Gakushuu’s questioning look. “I mean, my bug has a randomized effect every time, so…”

“Randomized?! That sounds incredibly inefficient, not to mention dangerous.” Gakushuu shook his head angrily. It was obvious he wouldn’t be able to get any information here now that basically the entire class’s attention was on him. Better to leave before something serious happened among these unpredictable freaks. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, though,” he muttered as he turned to go. “That is _exactly_ the kind of ridiculous thing one could expect from useless losers like…”

His sentence was cut short as a washtub fell on his head.

“Augh-!” He stumbled, almost falling down. “Where the hell did _that_ come from?!” he exclaimed, glancing up at the cloudless sky. There was nothing visible, not even a tiny bird. Rubbing his aching head with one hand he glared at the offending washtub, only gradually realizing how quiet everyone had fallen around him.

Every member of E class present stared at him, dumbfounded, and then turned to stare at Karma. As for the red fiend, he was staring at Gakushuu, eyes nearly as wide as the washtub.

“Ah…” Karma opened his mouth but didn’t immediately find his voice. “You… I…” Then he laughed, long and loud, as if to the greatest joke he had ever heard. “Oh gods, do I dare to believe it?” he panted as his laughter finally started dying away.

Gakushuu shot him a glare. “Believe what?”

Karma was shaking his head, wiping tears from his eyes. “Hey, ice prince,” he said, still chuckling. “I think your luck just turned! But you know, even without that, it’d be no problem for me to beat you.” He looked up at the sky. Nothing happened, and he laughed again. “In fact, I think I’d have no trouble with you and your pals combined! The Big Five? Big in what way? Big losers, that’s all!” Still nothing. “Oh, _yes_! This is the greatest thing _ever_!” He pumped a fist at the sky.

“What is the matter with you?!” Gakushuu shrieked, grasping his cape.

Karma just kept on laughing and shook him off. “Nagisa! You know, you really are such a girly little shrimp, aren’t you?” He grinned down at Nagisa, and spun then around to face his classmates, his grin getting even wider. “And you, all! Just one look’s enough, it’s obvious that I’m by far the strongest here!”

Nagisa was shaking his head exasperatedly. “Karma…”

“Oh, Nagisa, please don’t mind me, you’re the best.” Karma took a hold of Nagisa’s shoulders and whirled him around, almost as if in a dance. “You’re seriously the best! I’m just experimenting! Hey, that octopus? Don’t you think he’s just a…”

“Could someone finally explain to me what is going on here!” Gakushuu shouted, as Karma kept on whirling Nagisa around, sprouting insults to some octopus, of all things.

“Well…” One of the boys cleared his throat. He was a peculiar one; Gakushuu had noticed him already during his first visit to E class. It was sort of hard _not_ to notice someone who from the front was wearing a full armor, but… only from the front. “It would appear that Nagisa somehow transferred Karma’s bug to you.” As Gakushuu just stared at him, not comprehending (or perhaps just refusing to comprehend), he went on, “Karma’s bug… that is, every time he looks down on someone, his luck drops to a negative value. And as a consequence, usually he’s hit by a falling washtub – unless there’s a trapdoor or something close by.”

Gakushuu could only stare. Bug? Negative value? Luck? Hit by… washtubs? “This is ridiculous,” he breathed.

“Quite so!” Karma agreed happily, flinging an arm around his neck. “And all yours, now!”

“No.” Gakushuu pushed him angrily away. “I do not accept this. Keep your hands off me, you freak! I’m not going to…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence before a washtub fell on his head.

“Ouch!” He crouched down, holding his head with both hands. Those things were heavier than they looked.

“Umm, are you okay?” The blue-haired boy was bending down to his side. “Look, I’m really sorry about this…”

“I’m not!” Karma declared in a delighted voice.

“…but I really can’t control my bug. And… I guess I was thinking when I touched you that it’s really annoying how you’re always so… well… so condescending. So… I don’t really know, but maybe that’s what you should do? I mean, there won’t be any washtubs falling if you just stop looking down on people.”

Gakushuu, now sitting on the ground, stared up at him incredulously. “And _how_ can I do that, when it’s a simple fact that I’m better than _anyone_ el…”

A washtub fell on his head, now three times bigger than the previous ones.

…

As Gakushuu returned to the town from the mountain, he very soon realized that he didn’t need to _say_ anything condescending, thinking was enough. And it was surprisingly hard _not_ to think of damning thoughts of that redheaded good-for-nothing scoundrel (washtub) whose utterly ridiculous bug that truly fit a lunatic like him (washtub) he was now stuck with. So he left a trail of washtubs down the mountain path.

The first thing he did as he came to the town was to go buy a helmet. As he was trying them on in the first weapon shop he came across, he found himself shooting a condescending look across the shabby shop and its even shabbier owner, and… a washtub.

He bought the helmet he happened to have on his head. It seemed to work.

The owner picked the washtub up as he was leaving the shop. “Umm, this…”

“Just keep it.”

…

His new helmet on his head, Gakushuu entered the main campus of Kunugigaoka, making a beeline to his old room. He had, of course, already graduated, being a full-fledged paladin and all, but being also the principal’s son, he still had his room there waiting for him.

Unfortunately, he was just about to enter his room when an out-of-breath student rushed to him and told him the pope wanted to see him.

Of course he did. Gakushuu considered a moment and threw then his helmet into his room. It wasn’t something he felt like explaining.

 _I_ am _a full-fledged paladin_ , he reminded himself as he opened the doors to the pope’s study. _I might be his son, but I’m not one of his students anymore._ Somewhere in the back a of his mind a mocking voice whispered, _how much groveling did take…_

He shook his head and pushed the red devil out of his mind as he stepped into the room.

Pope Asano Gakuhou, the celebrated hero who was now training new heroes, was sitting by his desk, reading something. As his son entered, he raised his head from his papers.

“Greetings, father,” Gakushuu said, stopping in the middle of the room and bowing. “You wished to see me?”

“Hello, Asano-kun. I was quite surprised to hear you’re still here. Has the world outside run short of adventures and monsters to defeat?”

“I have been away quite a lot recently, haven’t I?” Gakushuu said lightly. “I decided I’d like to spend a little time with my friends here. It is important to maintain connections, don’t you think?”

“Certainly. But if you need help in finding something to do, there is…”

“Father,” he said quickly. A dangerous business, to be interrupting the pope, but he simply couldn’t have the man sending him off on some adventure right now.

The pope fell silent, watching him with a neutral expression – or so anyone else watching would have thought. Gakushuu knew he was walking on thin ice.

He cleared his throat. “I was thinking, now that I am here, that I could spend a while studying. I am sure the library has gained at least a few interesting volumes during the time I’ve been away. At the very least those I brought there myself,” he couldn’t resist adding as a reminder of his more successful ventures.

“Studying is indeed a noble pursuit you should stay devoted to your entire life,” his father said. “Just as I have. A true paladin is not only skilled with sword and magic, but has also a strong basis of learning to support him.”

 _And how does it sound like you think I’m not quite there yet, father dear?_ Gakushuu thought. _Do you actually believe I’d_ want _to become someone like you oh no nonono…_

A washtub fell on his head. He watched in quiet mortification as it rolled across the floor and hit the wall. At which instant, insult to injury, a trapdoor opened under his feet and he fell down.

Somewhere high up he heard his father’s voice, and a gust of wind caught him and raised him back up. A moment he stared at the floor, trying to compose himself – just how much indignity could one day hold?! – before raising his eyes to look at his father.

“I wasn’t aware you had a trapdoor here,” he said, and from the look on the pope’s face he concluded that the man hadn’t known it either (not that he was about to admit that).

His father returned his look. After a long silence, he said, very quietly, “Why are you affected by the Red Devil’s bug?”

Trust his father would know about that. “I’m not. That is, it isn’t… I mean…”

“You haven’t been at the E class again, have you?” Silence. The pope sighed, sitting down. “It appears you truly have a lot of studying to do. I trust you can fix this.”

That was a dismissal. Gakushuu gave a hasty bow and quickly retreated from the room.

…

One week later Gakushuu was beginning to reach the bottom of the pit of despair. ( _If only_ , he thought to himself. The actual Pit of Despair had been a piece of cake to loot.) He had learned more about these bugs than he had ever wanted to know. Some of the information was quite contradictory, but there was one thing everyone agreed on: you could not get rid of a bug.

“Well, _that_ is clearly not true,” he said aloud, lying on his back on his bed, with the helmet on. Karma did get rid of his, after all.

In any case, it was beginning to look like the library of Kunugigaoka did not hold the solution to his problem. And it was one of the most comprehensive libraries in the entire country, if not the most comprehensive. So what should he do? Leave on a quest to find a remedy for his trouble?

…he just didn’t want to walk in public with washtubs falling on his head, helmet or no helmet.

It was all that blue-haired boy’s fault. Perhaps he could undo what he had done? Perhaps if they could recreate the situation, where the boy is touching both him and… He snorted. As if Karma would ever agree to this. Moreover, he truly didn’t plan to crawl back to ask for help from the E class. (A washtub fell on him, and he pushed it angrily out of his bed.) No. He would solve this on his own.

Someone knocked on his door and he stood up with a sigh. He had told everyone to leave him alone, so this had better be something important. “Yes, come in.”

Sakakibara Ren stepped into the room. “Morning, Asano. We… oh, have you heard?”

“Heard what?” he asked irritably. He wasn’t in the mood for guessing games.

“There is a…” Ren paused. “Asano, why do you have so many washtubs?”

“Never mind them,” Gakushuu muttered, refusing to look at the ever-growing pile in the corner. Maybe he could start a business, if he couldn’t work as a paladin anymore. Selling washtubs.

“Uh, yes.” Ren turned back to him. “I just thought that, as you’re wearing that, you probably had already heard, but… so why _are_ you wearing a helmet if you haven’t heard?”

“Heard about _what_?” Gakushuu exclaimed.

“The dragon. There is a dragon terrorizing the countryside.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Gakushuu sat on his bed. ”I’m sure there are plenty of heroes rushing to take it on.”

“Well… not really. It’s big. And the thing is… the Pope’s sending us.”

“Of course he is.” Gakushuu was a little surprised at how much more bitter he still could feel towards his father. _He_ knows _I’m drabbed with this, this…_ curse _, and he sends me off to fight a freaking dragon?_

“The others are already getting ready. So…” Ren shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, as Gakushuu remained sitting on the bed. “Are you… coming?”

“Yes.” Gakushuu stood up. It wasn’t like there was anything else he could do. Even if he could disobey the pope’s command, what would people say if they heard he had refused to fight a dragon? Would they think he had been scared? He couldn’t let that happen.

“So, let’s go do this,” he muttered angrily. “Not like we haven’t beaten those worms before, just how hard…”

A washtub fell on his head. Ren stared at it with his mouth open. “Not a word,” Gakushuu snapped before he could say anything, and Ren closed his mouth with an audible click.

…

The others of the Big Five caught his mood very quickly, and their little party left the campus in silence, Gakushuu on his white, mint-maned horse, the others on foot, as usual. In truth, he didn’t really comprehend why they didn’t get horses too – it wasn’t like they couldn’t afford them – but he was quite happy for the fact they didn’t. Watching his min… friends from the top of his horse, for the first time since this whole ordeal had started, he felt like everything in the world was still in its right place… annnd there came the washtub.

He sighed. No one said anything.

They had already left the town behind when Ren cleared his throat. “Asano… you do know that the dragon we fought before wasn’t fully grown? This one is. And apparently over thousand years old.”

“How else?” he muttered darkly. Nothing could be simple in his life anymore.

They travelled on without talking, the silence punctuated only by the clatter of an occasional washtub. “So… do we have a plan?” Araki asked after a while.

Gakushuu shrugged. “Let’s check out the situation first.”

They were beginning to approach the mountains where the dragon was said to be dwelling. They had been seeing signs of it for a while now: the fields were scorched, a village destroyed and another abandoned, even a small lake appeared to have been evaporated until it was just half of its original size. His companions were watching the sights glumly, but Gakushuu’s mind was elsewhere. Once they were done with the dragon, he _would_ go back to the E class, not to ask for help, but to order them to cancel out what they had done. If nothing else helped, he would take that blue-haired boy to his father’s dungeons. A little fieldmouse like that had no business to…

A washtub fell on his head.

Ren coughed quietly. “Asano,” he said carefully. “What is the matter with these washtubs?”

A moment he considered saying nothing. Then he muttered, “Think of it as a curse.”

“What kind of a curse?” Seo asked. He said nothing, and the boy went on, “If you told us details, maybe we could help…”

“I don’t need your help,” Gakushuu snapped, his statement punctuated with a falling washtub. “Forget this. We should be drawing near…” He paused. A little ahead of them, watching up into the mountains, was a group of people. He felt his heart sinking as they came closer. One boy with bright red hair turned to look behind and grinned, seeing the approaching paladins.

“Hey, guys, we’re getting some _grand_ company! Hey Asano! How you liking my bug? …oh, coming to think of it, you’re buggy now. That makes you E class, doesn’t it? Who has ever heard of a buggy paladin?”

“What are you lot doing here?” Gakushuu demanded, ignoring the very existence of the redheaded devil. “There is a dragon on the move, you shouldn’t be getting in the way…”

“Actually,” Karma said happily, “we’re here to defeat the dragon. Just go back home, we’ll deal with it for you.”

Gakushuu shot a blank look at the redhead. “Ridiculous,” he stated flatly, and would have said more, but a washtub once again fell on his head. At the sight of it, Karma doubled over with laughter.

“Oh gods, _yes_ , this is too perfect!” the redhead panted. “Nagisa! You wonderful creature, I love you, please marry me!”

The blue-haired boy rolled his eyes toward the sky, a long-suffering look on his face. Gakushuu might have almost felt sympathetic to him (to anyone who had to deal on daily basis with the red-haired freak), but only almost.

“Actually,” the boy in the weird half-armor said, “I think it would be a good idea to cooperate here. That creature is _big_.”

“Oh?” Gakushuu raised an eyebrow at him. “You mean to claim you have seen it?”

“Well,” a green-haired girl said nervously and pointed upward. “It’s sort of hard _not_ to see it…”

Gakushuu looked into the direction she pointed and frowned. What was the girl talking about, there was nothing to be seen but rocky… he blinked.

Oh gods.

Those twin peaks he in fact didn’t remember seeing before… they sure looked a lot like ears.

Someone took a sharp breath behind his back. His eyes followed the ears down to what might have been a closed eye, and across a snout to crater-like nostrils… was there smoke coming out of them? He thought so.

The mountain in-between the other mountains was a dragon.

“This is ridiculous,” he said aloud. How were they supposed to fight something like this?

“If you’re scared you can always run back to daddy,” Karma said with a grin.

“Ah… I do think we should go get some reinforcements,” Araki said, his voice quivering a little. Others made concurring noises, but Gakushuu shook his head. How much reinforcements would be enough?

A black box in the middle of the E class members flickered, and an image of a girl appeared in it. “According to my calculations,” the image said, while Gakushuu was still blinking, “there is no time for that. The dragon is asleep now, and will most likely sleep one more day, after which it will wake up and wreck yet another village. We won’t have time to gather reinforcements that would actually make a difference in that time.”

Seo gasped. “Is that… Ritsu? The Evolved Mage?”

“Yes,” the girl in the box said.

Gakushuu nodded. “Of course it is. I knew that.”

“So,” the strangely armored boy said. “We were planning to attack it while it’s still asleep. With your help…”

“No.” Gakushuu shook his head. “This is a job for paladins, not for buggy misfits like you.” He was slightly surprised there was no washtub this time… perhaps he was still a little too stunned to be properly condescending, probably just talking on autopilot.

His companions were quiet, but at least they weren’t openly opposing him. He straightened his back. “Onward, troops!” he called out. “We will climb up that mountain,” he pointed with his sword, “find a good spot, and attack the dragon from there.”

Without a further word he spurred his horse toward the mountain, trusting his m… friends, _friends_ damnit, to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fewer washtubs and lot's more dragon fighting in the next chapter. Yay. ^^
> 
> (I'm sorry about everything, Gakushuu. Except not really. ❤️)


	2. Chapter 2

Gakushuu was leading his little dragon attack party up the mountainside when he noticed that in addition to his friends, also half of the E class was following them. He paused his horse.

“Go back,” he called to them. “We don’t want you to get into our way.”

“I think the opposite is more likely to happen,” Karma said with an easy grin.

“I’m sorry,” the armored guy said, shooting an exasperated glance at Karma. “We told him to go with the other group, but…” He shrugged apologetically. “In any case, we’re not leaving. Half our group is climbing up the other mountain. We might be able to trap the dragon between our attacks. Oh, by the way, my name is Isogai, I’m…”

Gakushuu turned his horse upward again, ignoring him. A washtub clattered down.

Karma tsked. “Hey, you really should stop doing that!” he called out. “You don’t want to wake up the dragon, do you?”

Just. Ignore. _Everything_.

As miraculous as it was, they reached a spot slightly above the resting dragon without any further incidents. Gakushuu sat on his horse, staring at the magnificent sight in front of him. Seen from so close, the dragon was even more overwhelmingly awe-inspiring than he could have imagined. Something in his stomach turned, and he took a deep breath.

_It could swallow me_ , Gakushuu thought. _It could swallow me_ and _my horse whole, and it wouldn’t even notice it._

“So what should we do?” someone asked quietly. He didn’t have a clue.

_I wonder if father is going to feel the slightest bit of regret when he hears I’ve been crushed to death by a mountain pretending to be a dragon,_ some part of Gakushuu’s brain pondered. _Probably not. He’ll just be disappointed._

A flash of light caught his eye from the mountainside on the other side of the dragon.

“That is Ritsu,” Isogai said. “The others have taken their positions. We agreed that we will start the attack, draw the dragon’s attention, and then at a suitable moment they will throw all they have at it.”

“All they have,” Gakushuu said in a mocking tone, but again there was no washtub. He didn’t think much of the other members of the E class, but even he had heard of the Evolved Mage. What was someone like that doing with this bunch of losers anyway? And _there_ came the washtub. Gakushuu too winced at the noise it made clattering down the mountainside, but luckily the dragon didn’t flick an ear.

“Defeating _any_ dragon isn’t an easy task,” Koyama muttered, and Gakushuu almost thanked him for stating the obvious. “This one, even less so. It probably doesn’t only look like rock, its skin most likely is rock-hard. Or even harder. I doubt our weapons can pierce it.”

“So we need to figure out a way to weaken it,” Seo said. “Perhaps if we all concentrate our attacks in the same spot?”

“What about hitting it into the eyes?” someone in the E class asked. Gakushuu glanced over his shoulder, annoyed.

“A dragon’s eyes are protected by a really strong membrane,” he said. Truly, did these fools come to fight a dragon without knowing anything at all? A washtub hit his head. He caught it before it fell further down and threw it soundlessly into the bushes. “It weakens their sight a little, but it’s nearly unpierceable, even in a normal case.” Which this definitely wasn’t.

“In fact,” Koyama said thoughtfully, “this dragon is so old it might be practically blind. Of course, its sense of smell and other abilities more than compensate for that.”

“Still… is there any way we could turn its lack of sight against it?” Isogai wondered.

“Umm,” a spectacled, dark-haired girl said. “I noticed some thief’s cloak growing on this mountain…”

“Interesting,” Koyama said. “The plant so named because thieves use it…”

“To cover their body odor to sneak past guard dogs,” Gakushuu finished for him irritably. He knew his flora, too. “This is not your average dog we’re facing.”

“No,” Ren said, his tone carefully neutral, “but I think we need to use anything we can here.”

“I think so too,” Isogai said. “Okuda, show us that plant.”

Gakushuu shot a dark glance at the others as his friends as well left, Koyama in lead, to look for the plant in question. He could all but feel control slipping out of his fingers.

Despite his resentment of the current development, Gakushuu as well rubbed the leaves of thief’s cloak all over himself, hoping the plant wouldn’t stain too badly. Having finished, he sniffed himself experimentally, and didn’t smell anything – but then again, it wasn’t like he was smelly even without any deodorantic plants.

“So, what’s the plan?”

He shot an annoyed glance at Karma, who was leaning against a tree with that eternal, infuriating half a smirk on his face.

“Why? As if you would follow any plan of mine.”

“True.” Karma shrugged. “But the same applies the other way round, too. And with your eagerness to be first in everything, we thought it’s best to let you attack first. And then we can save your sorry ass when it all goes to hell.”

Everything was _already_ going to hell. But even so… Gakushuu looked at the sleeping dragon, and turned then to his friends.

“I will use my magic to freeze its wings so it won’t be able to fly,” he said. Goddess help him, he _hoped_ he could do that. He had never attempted capturing something so big before. “You will spread all over the mountainside and hit it with all you have, in the same spot, preferably the underbelly. That is the weakest spot of a dragon.” He didn’t think the monster in front of them had any real weak spots, though.

“It might be best if you go higher up and we remain here,” Isogai said. “That way, if the dragon notices your attacks coming from above and rises to meet them, we can more easily hit its belly.”

Gakushuu said nothing, though silently he approved of any plan that placed him the highest. The steely knot in his stomach began to unravel as the start of the battle approached. He looked again at the dragon with a sudden surge of excitement. Even if these annoying E class vermin refused to leave the scene, this would still be his greatest fight. And if – when! – he brought down this dragon, the fame that would follow was nearly unbearably high. Adrenalin rush made his heart beat more strongly, and he drew his sword, jumping to saddle.

“My trusted companions! It is time for our greatest battle! Songs will be sung of the deeds that will take place today!”

It was a clear sign of the battle fever gradually taking over him that he found Karma’s wooting only slightly annoying. “I was not talking to you,” he stated as he spurred his horse uphill and cut the falling washtub half with his sword. (Somehow both halves still hit him, but he didn’t really care.)

Sitting on his horse high up on a cliff, Gakushuu looked down at the sleeping dragon. Now, _this_ was a viewpoint he much preferred. The sun was getting low on the horizon behind his back, and he knew he had to cut quite a majestic figure against that backdrop.

He waited a moment longer to make sure that his friends would get to their places (and that as many of the E class as possible would see him up there), and raised then his sword, concentrating. He didn’t need to get both wings. If he immobilized just one, the dragon wouldn’t be able to fly.

“Ice prison!” he called out, and ice spread all over the dragon’s side, capturing most of the wing under it. The attack woke up the beast. It rose up to its back legs, towering high above him, and with alarming accuracy it turned to face the exact spot where he was. At that moment Gakushuu realized he had never masked the smell of his horse.

The dragon was about to surge down on him, and for a short moment he thought that they truly were about to be swallowed whole, when the attacks below started, drawing its attention away.

Gakushuu released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

His friends below truly were putting all they had into the fight, and so was, he realized, the E class. Still, all it seemed to do was to annoy the dragon, who swished once with its tail, hitting the mountainside with such strength the entire mountain seemed to be shaking. He could only hope none of his friends were hit by that.

There were screams, shouts, explosions, gunfire… and a creaking noise that made him realize with a sinking feeling that his ice prison was about to break. He needed to redo the spell, but he didn’t anymore have a clear view from this cliff.

He jumped down from his horse. “You run away and hide,” he whispered, and the horse was moving before he even finished the sentence. Unfaithful little shit could have at least pretended to be reluctant to leave his side…

He climbed up the steep mountainside as fast as he could, and seeing his chance, cast his spell again. It was only a partial hit, but at least the dragon was still groundbound. Then, to his chagrin, he heard _someone else_ yelling “ice prison!” from somewhere, and another blast hit the immobilized wing right on, capturing it under a new, thick layer of ice.

“Damn you! _Stop copying my spells!_ ” he screamed at Karma. Did that ass have any idea how much trouble he had faced, trying to perfect his ice magic? Some nobody from E class wasn’t supposed to… A washtub hit him in the head, and as it cluttered down, he realized that his scream combined with that noise had given the dragon a good idea of his whereabouts. From the corner of his eye he saw a huge paw with absolutely terrifying claws approaching much too fast.

Unable to do anything else he let go and fell. The paw hit the mountain above him, and pieces of rock fell down around him as he rolled down, unable to catch hold of anything to stop his fall. He heard someone shouting but couldn’t make out the words for the deafening rush of blood in his ears. Right when the thought _this is it, I’m really going to die_ flashed in his mind, he felt something grasping his right ankle. A short moment he just hung there, upside down, watching after the falling rocks and his helmet that tumbled down among them. Then, gradually, he was dragged up the mountainside to a cliff. The blue-haired boy was there as well, helping to pull him up the last bit.

He sat there panting, immensely gratified to feel solid ground under himself, when the yellow rope around his ankle released itself. He blinked, followed it with his eyes, and…

Stared. Just stared.

This was truly the day of extraordinary sights. The dragon, by far the most terrifying thing he had ever seen (even more terrifying than his father). The yellow octopus-like creature dressed in black robes, by far the weirdest (and he had seen some weird things during his journeys).

“What?” was all he could get out of his mouth.

“Come now, Asano-kun.” The octopus was _chuckling_ at him. “The battle isn’t over yet.”

As if to punctuate that statement, another hit by the dragon’s tail shook the mountain. They all lost their footing, and it was at the last moment Gakushuu managed to catch a hold of Nagisa’s arm to prevent the boy from rolling over the cliff.

“Thanks,” the boy panted, on his knees at the edge.

Gakushuu shook his head. “No time for that.”

Someone jumped down to their side. “I don’t want to complain, but I really think we’d have needed a better plan,” Karma said, nonchalant as ever, but his clothes were dusty and torn, and there was a bleeding cut on his forehead.

Gakushuu had barely time to notice that, before it had been bandaged by yellow tentacles so swift he hardly could see them. He shot an incredulous look at the octopus who had antiseptics in one tentacle and a first aid bag in another.

“If,” he said slowly, standing up, “we have a Big Bad, no matter how ridiculous, on our side in this battle, why are _we_ the ones fighting it?”

“Now, now, Asano-kun,” the octopus said with a chuckle, “I wouldn’t dream of stealing this honor from you! I’m here just to cheer you on! And…” the image of the creature flashed in his eyes, and suddenly it was carrying a girl with long, blond hair, “…to keep everyone from falling off these mountains.”

“I’m afraid that’s not going to be enough in the long run, sensei,” Karma said, his tone so serious Gakushuu had to turn to look at him to realize who was talking. “There is literally nothing we can do to beat this beast.”

“Oh?” Now the octopus turned its clearly amused face toward Karma. “Are you sure about that, Karma-kun? Can’t you think outside the box?”

Karma paused. He looked thoughtfully at the dragon who was focusing its attention to the other mountain at the moment – and, based on the flickering image of the octopus, about to do some real damage there.

“Should I,” Nagisa said very softly, “try to use my bug?”

“There is one thought, Nagisa-kun,” the octopus said approvingly.

“Or then _I_ could…” Karma started, but fell quiet mid-sentence, annoyed. “Except that I can’t.” He glared at Gakushuu, as if this was somehow his fault. “You. You have my bug.”

Gakushuu snorted. “You can have it back any moment as far as I’m concerned.”

“Hmm,” was all that Karma said, looking thoughtful. Gakushuu fought to keep the sudden hope he felt from showing on his face.

“You’d actually take it back, Karma?” Nagisa asked, surprised.

“Well, it’s… complicated,” Karma said, looking away with the slightest blush. “For one thing, it’s _my_ bug. For another, I know how to use it. And having a bug is kind of a central part about being in the E class, you know? Though I’ve sure had fun the past week…”

“Too much fun,” Nagisa muttered, and Karma grinned at him.

“There’s that, too. I’ve a feeling some people are growing tired of me, can you imagine? Anyway, it’s not like the bug’s ever bothered me that much, and…” He glanced at the dragon. “We seriously need it now. So, yes. I would.”

“You’re insane,” Gakushuu stated, “but I don’t complain. Can you undo what you did then?” he asked Nagisa.

The boy licked his lips nervously. “I’m not sure. I can try…” He took a hold of their shoulders, closed his eyes and concentrated. Nothing seemed to happen. After a while Nagisa opened his eyes and shrugged, uncertain. “Did it work?”

“No,” Karma said sullenly. “Okay. So, you have to be the one doing this, then.” And then he told Gakushuu what ‘this’ was.

Gakushuu was shaking his head long before he was finished. “No. Just, no. How am I supposed to survive that?”

Karma grinned. “Is that kind of talk worthy of a paladin?” he asked. “But don’t worry. You’ll survive. My bug doesn’t kill me – or you, now that it’s yours. Though of course, what happens after just might do that.”

Gakushuu swallowed. This was the most idiotic thing he had ever heard of, but… He looked at the dragon. All of their attacks seemed to have done no harm to it at all. The wing was still frozen, but it was only a matter of time when it would break free. “Alright, then,” he said quietly. “Can you inform others of this plan and then take me to the best possible spot?” he asked the octopus. Some part of his brain was nagging about the humiliation of having to ask help from a Big Bad, but he ignored it. They had a dragon to defeat, and this… was the best shot they had.

“Certainly,” the octopus said, flickered, and then grasped Gakushuu to its tentacles. He was standing on a high cliff before he even realized what was going on.

He looked down at the dragon. _Yes_ , he thought with a tiny smile, _this really is the best possible viewpoint._

“Hey!” he called out, waving with his sword which caught the final rays of the setting sun. “You! Big fat lizard! Do you imagine that you are something? I’m about to crunch you under my heel like the dirty earthworm you are! You little louse, you made a mistake coming to this kingdom!”

The dragon turned to him with a roar that made the very earth rumble. Gakushuu felt it in his chest and almost lost his breath, but even so he didn’t stop the tirade of insults. He could feel the bug overloading when the dragon’s wing snapped free and it rose to face him.

_Here it comes_ , he thought and closed his eyes right when a massive sledgehammer hit both him and the dragon with such strength it flung them both against the mountainside. Once again he was rolling down the mountain, but now his fall stopped into a bush. As he hung there, he saw that the attack truly had been the most successful so far. The hammer had hit the dragon to the side of its belly, and the beast was clinging to the mountain, still half stunned.

He saw small figures swarming toward it, flashes of what could only be magic hitting the dragon’s damaged belly, but he realized soon that even this wouldn’t be enough. They were like ants trying to bring down an elephant. He shook his head, trying to clear his hazy eyes. There was one thing that might work, if only… yes, there was the bright red head he had been trying to spot.

“Karma!” he yelled as loud as he could, ignoring the sharp pain in his side. “Use the magic frostblade!”

He saw the redhead jump on the dragon, and for once, the Goddess be praised, do what he was told to. There was a familiar bright flash of light, and the dragon gave an ear-deafening scream. His ears were still humming when the octopus flew to him and gently took him into its tentacles.

The dragon was still alive, but it was twisting in agony, breaking the mountainside, and everyone was scampering away from it as fast as they could. He could see the bright light of the frostblade shining from the wound in its belly, and he knew the magic was working, freezing the dragon from the inside. With one final piercing shriek the dragon flung itself away from the mountain, rose up into air with wingbeats so strong the wind they created knocked everyone of their feet, and suddenly there were three more people in the octopus’s tentacles. The dragon rose up, up, up… and then it froze, and fell like a stone.

The crash of it hitting the ground caused a small earthquake and a few rockslides, and the octopus’s tentacles were getting quite full. He carried them all down the mountain, doing a few trips to get everyone to the same place. From the last trip the octopus returned carrying Gakushuu’s horse, a sight that made his heart skip.

“Oh, Mistmane,” he sighed, hugging his horse and burying his face into the mint-colored mane. “I’m so happy you’re okay. Sorry of all the bad things I might ever have thought of you.”

“See, I told you,” he heard Karma’s voice. “He _is_ in love with that horse.”

Somehow, he couldn’t even get mad. He turned to face the redheaded devil.

“Well fought,” he said, and to his surprise actually meant it. “You delivered the killing strike to that beast.” He _was_ slightly bitter about that, though, and also the fact that someone else had wielded his greatest weapon in battle.

Karma looked surprised and shrugged then. “Nah. Couldn’t have done that without your groundwork.”

Gakushuu nodded, accepting what victory he could. “I guess some cooperation was necessary here,” he said grudgingly and offered his hand to Karma, who took with a wry smile. Karma opened his mouth as if to say something, but there was that twist of reality again, and they both fell quiet, blinking.

Slowly Karma let go of his hand and looked at him down his nose. “You know, I really got to make some songs about today,” he said. “Like about the part where you slid down the mountain and were dragged up again upside down by a freaking octopus. I think I’ll call it the Legend of the Bugged Paladin.” A washtub fell on his head, and he sighed. “Oh well. I’m sort of used to this, anyway.”

“Don’t they hurt?” Gakushuu asked, genuinely curious. Karma grinned.

“I’m quite hard-headed.”

“That we all know,” Nagisa muttered. “How about heading home? I’m aching all over, I just want to rest the next week or so.”

“Nagisa-kun, there is class tomorrow, you know,” the octopus said, and everyone groaned.

“Don’t we get at least a day off for defeating a freaking dragon?” someone complained.

Gakushuu laughed, suddenly immensely glad to just be _alive_ , and winced then at the pain in his side. He probably had a broken or at least a fractured rib or two, but that was a small price to pay for this victory. “I’m sure we can have that arranged,” he said, and everyone actually cheered at him, which was rather odd (but not at all unwelcome) from these people.

He accepted Ren’s help to get up on Mistmane’s saddle without a comment, and they started their return back home.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally made up the horse’s name. It might or might not be a MLP reference. Oh, and I also think that frostblade became sort of... way OP here. xD  
> (Also, there is something fundamentally wrong with the sentence “the octopus gently took him into its tentacles…”)
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! If you haven't yet seen KoroQ, here's direct links for you: [sub](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMxX3A7CxcgUfd8UGZvGw1OMPJ14v09-d) and [dub](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOqBQTv0ZAtuKhcMIDlojYe8SvRp2p-Iz)  
> 


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